Yesterday could only be described as typical for me. I went to class, came home, worked on some homework, watched the news, left for junior high group, and then made my way over to Starbucks for some reading. I'd paid no real attention to the significance of the day until I came home that night. And then it hit me:
Today is September 11th.
I came home to my parents watching MSNBC's unedited news footage of the events that took place seven years ago. I sat down and watched it with them.
There just isn't much left to say about 9/11, and yet even after the seven years we've had to explain, research, exploit, and comprehend, what I found most frustrating about watching those images last night is just how incomprehensible they remain. In fact, when the time is taken to really reexamine that day, the events that took place seem to only grow in their level of disbelief. Today, whenever we hear the term "September 11th" or "9/11," we just sort of accept it as a tragic fact of life and don't think on it much further. I wish that we truly could do that. I wish that we could simply rise above and beyond what happened that day through understanding it, accepting it, and fighting to overpower it as a nation. After the reaction I had last night however, I'm not so sure that we can.
In seven years I've never felt more disconnected from that day than I felt last night; as if I was seeing it all for the first time. I was just old enough when it happened to remember witnessing it, but the significance would only register as I grew. Last night and throughout today it has continued to register, causing me to realize one of 9/11's tragic truths: that it will forever and always be an open wound for our country. I was deeply disturbed by what I watched last night, overcome with fits of emotion and tears. I thought maybe that reaction had died a couple of years ago, but here I was now after not having thought about the anniversary all day...crying and scrambling to understand just what I was witnessing all over again.
Wow. No doubt those men struck a deep and lasting blow to all of us. And while we've managed to come together as a nation in mourning, memory, and resilience, when we take the time to really stare it down again, the lasting and sadistically unique characteristic of 9/11 remains one of horror and unspeakable tragedy. How can we get past it? It can't be possible. Not an event like that.
Dostoevsky talks describes mankind as being "artistically cruel." That men don't simply do bad things, but that they strive to elevate horrific acts to artistic levels. What struck me last night was the fact that September 11th was as perfectly artistic an evil act as I will ever witness. How brilliantly sadistic it was to carry out the most significant act of terrorism in a way which forces the entire nation to watch it all unfold. It would have been one thing to set a bomb, or a series of bombs off killing thousands of people. Explosions are instantaneous. The news would have only been able to cover the aftermath. But to think that the entire nation sat and watched the first tower burn, and then saw as the second plane hit, and heard the reports of the Pentagon attack, and witnessed people jumping to their deaths, and finally, after 102 minutes, the towers and all those inside...fall to destruction. These men forced us into front row seats to watch the greatest single act of terrorism ever committed. Does it all seem real to you? To this day, can you really believe all of this took place?
I truly believe it's only a matter of time before we experience another act of terrorism against our nation. I don't say that to be a cynic, and I blame it on no one. I say it as a matter of fact. It's a matter of fact, that in spite of all the security measures we may take, there will always be men out there looking to stay two steps ahead of us in hopes of doing great harm. And so it must be only a matter of time. But I do not believe that we will ever again see an act as artistically cruel as this one. Possibly, many more people will die then than died on that day, but we won't be there to watch it all happen.
As something of a side-note, I discovered what bravery was last night. Groups of firemen walking toward the burning towers while everyone else was running from them. A somewhat off-topic statement, but certainly worthy of mention.
It's hard to believe that the only world I've known is the post-9/11 one. I don't remember America before, only after. Think about all the ways in which this event has changed the way we live, the rights we have, and the securities we once took for granted. Think about the fact that the greatest, most powerful nation in the history of the world...was forever altered in just 102 minutes. Think that the post-9/11 America is the only one you'll ever know.
We can't grow callous to 9/11. And if we choose - as we should - to face that day again on rare occasions, we never will. It's important to remember who we were before that day. It's important not to think about 9/11 as a poitical springboard alone. It will always be an open wound, and, as a result, the United States will always be a healing nation.
